i wonder why i'm hungry when i ate dinner last night.... oh i forgot, .. it was chinese take out.

I have a weakness… I can’t say no. I admit it… unless you piss me off to the hilt, I would just about say anything but no. you might get a ‘we’ll see’ or a ‘possibly’ or ‘call me tomorrow’ or ‘ I have a boyfriend’ or ‘I’ll try’ or ‘I don’t know’ or something round about that isn’t direct but damn sure close to being a no. This little weakness that I have stemmed from my mom always willing and waiting to say no; Can’t even form the words in your mouth, can’t even conjure up the thought in your head and she had the word ‘no’ on the tip of her tongue ready for your ass. I hate hasty thinking… I like to mull things over before I say no. Before I answered with a no, would explore every other option possible. Maybe it is the Virgo in me that needs to nurture people and their null and void feelings, thoughts, opinions, beliefs etc.

Case in point:

Dude I just recently told yall about: so what are you feelings towards me?
Me: I don’t think I am ready to be involved.

What I wish i can say without feeling all guilty and ish: dude, I’m so not feeling your ass. I don’t think I can not feel your ass any more than I currently do

DIJRTYA: why would you say that? Was it something I did or say?
Me: nah, it is just me and being a new mom and starting back at work. I just don’t have to time or the patience to maintain a romantic relationship.

WIWICSWFAGAI: mf, because I’m not, that is why I would say that. And yeah, it was something you did… open your mouth…. and anything you said?… yes, everything up until this very moment!!

DIJRTYA: well, can I do anything to make you feel better?
Me: nah… im straight. Just need to get me in order, you know.

WIWICSWFAGAI: leave me the f alone.

DIJRTYA: well, if you need me, let me know.
Me: aight

WIWICSWFAGAI: nicca, what did I just say?

DIJRTYA: I will wait for you.
Me: I don’t know if I will be ready any time soon.

WIWICSWFAGAI: this ain’t cinema nicca. Really. it isn’t that serious.

DIJRTYA: just remember that I’m here if you need anything.
Me: cool

WIWICSWFAGAI: blow me.


(My ass couldn’t say no if you paid me…. Now I’m stuck with a quote, unquote friend. *wouldn't it have been easier if i would i just typed the damn "s? yeah, but i ain't easy. don't get it twisted.*:-P)

***********

I made an oath to myself that I would lie no more. No more lying out of convenience, no more lying because the lie sounds better than the truth and no more lying because I want to see just how creative I can be. I will let yall know how many minutes this last. Keep ya fingers crossed.

no title

I have a question... in Amerie's new single 'one thing', is it me or does it sounds like she is saying gobble, gobble, goooo ble?

Ummm

My first love got married last summer…. I should restate, my first and only love got married last summer… that whomps. I guess my stuff wasn’t exceptional, huh? ** MsThing **

I heard that Jay-Z has plans to return to ‘the game’… what the f? why can’t niccas go and stay away like the profoundly claim to do… what the hell, is he like the new herpes simplex? Think he is gone… then BAM, a new flare up.

I went on a date the other night… I found a new type of guy in which I can’t stand…. (i think i'm just man hating, for real) Guys who love drama. What the hell is that about? I didn’t know they still existed. I am not one to keep drama afloat. I actually pray for drama to die a hundred deaths… that is the type of gal I am… drama free. And… to crown it king, he had the nerve to tell me, ‘I love drama… the more the better.’ That is some sissified shit to say. Anyway, his ass is scratched. I think I’m going to go on hiatus… raise G… maybe even go back to school, and plan for my ultimate move down to GA. I am purchasing a car in the next two weeks to tote G around in because his ass weighs more than mine. I will post a pic of the G-man if someone can tell me how to do that waterspot thing… or whatever it is called… I don’t want my baby’s pic to end up where it doesn’t belong.… anybody wanna help a sister out?

this that and the third and possibly a fourth

today is my second day back at this hell fire of a place. i need to be shot for not getting out while the getting was good. my fault, my bad... all that other stupid ass slang words/phrases. i miss my baby... my G unit with and of himself. i asked him yesterday if he would be my valentine... his exacts words were, 'bulllah'. aka 'hell yes, mama... yous be my biatch for life!!' anyway, encourage me... life is hard with out my baby.

other news... men are stupid.... in a round about, humming coming atcah kinda way. were men really this stupid before i gave birth? or did i suddenly become more receptive to stupid men as of late? either way, men are stupid... except for my son.... and all of the other men i like... if are a man and i don't like you, you are stupid.

so, i watched the grammys with kanye and his big face...(i couldn't talk about people when i was pregnant because i was AFRAID... yeah, i'm superstitious like that... or is it stupidstitious? but the floodgates are wide OPEN!). he finally got an award, thank goodness... i didn't feel like hearing/reading about him carrying on like a lil biaotch. anyway, he is a okay performer when he isn't sweating his own damn self. a man with that much pent up fustration must need some relief...:)

also, R.I.P. OSSIE DAVIS