two for the price of one...

I have been a busy beaver.... no, no... not THAT beaver... dirty mind of yours. Anyway, I have already completed my tax return for both fed and state... i refuse to let the government gain bank on my bank for longer than they need to. The state of NJ tried to tell me i owed them... now get this.... $1267. me.... with a child on my hip, living at my mamas. first of all, yeah right, second of all, yeah rizzzzight!!! and lastly, ain't no way i owe the state of NJ that much money... I have tried to tweak everything possible to lessen the amount due... it worked actually... but i still owed about 600 (not trying to get over... just trying to get through) I am going to wait until april 15th... do a few risky investments and see how it works out for a sistah... and then pay them bastids. let them play the waiting game.

i'm jumping on the bandwagon... it seems like everyone is getting the hell out of their respective dogde ... i'm on the search for a new gig. I have done my time, put in my work and it is past time I bid my farewells. some where, some how,... i developed a conscious... don't ask me when because i can't recall. before i left for maternity leave, my cowokers hosted a babyshower in my honor. as much as i bitched about the work, i have never bitched about the job.... i would feel almost ungrateful to bounce after receiving such lovely gifts... and they were lovely gifts... and without feeling an ounce of remorse. but then, this too shall passm eh? mean green trumps friends again!

so, i called into work to speak to my boss about my vacation time when i return.... i don't play... i don't think they have heard, but yes... it is all about me. i just want them to make sure they write it down on paper just in case they forget and need to consult.. and no, not about the vacation time... but about it being all about me. *wink* ... G and I are taking a trip to the Caribbean. I have always wanted to visit St. Thomas and the Caymans... but, im being swayed towards the 700 islands of bahamas... (are they really 700 islands of Bahamas?) , trinidad and Tobago and Costa Rica. now, i have always wanted to visit St. T and Caymans ever since college... so there is no deep speculative decision making in that. I would love to visit the Bahamas because... well... can you really beat 700 islands...? also, a visit to Trinidad would be perfect because i love trini men...... and soca music.... But have also heard the rain Forrest of Costa Rica are unmatched by any other. There is one problem, however... baddy might not want to sign off on G's passport. He has told me before that he believes i would run off with G. Now, I know i have an extreme personality... some might even say off the charts... but i would never run... even if things happen to get THAT bad... running isn't my steez... now stabbing a nicca is... but running???, nah that isn't me. anyway, i have some time to play nice.... i really do hope that is enough because shyt, that is really all i got. oh... i got to go...G just socked the ish out of me with his head and now he has the nerve to cry. kisses and stuff...

a clutter of mutter...

mia is my constant status... i can't even say shawty has been monopolizing my time because i have had a couple of times to do my thug thizzle. my life is one big fat laziness.... besides tending to baby bop, i do a whole bunch of nothing from sun up to sun down.... hold on, that is a lie... i have been diversifying the hell out of my investment profolio... Surprisingly, that was easy. i guess my brain hasn't turn to mush yet.

since shawty is asleep and am listening to some tunes on the net, i figure i might give ya a shout out because somebody out there might care... i have opened up to the option of playful dating... nothing serious, just some phone calls here and there... possibly a movie if i dig your personality... well, some folks cram to understand the term of 'playful' ....meaning...lighthearted, frivolous, whimsical, etc. i don't want you for a husband... i don't want 'relations'... just someone of the opposite sex for companionship every now and again. now, when meeting these 'men', i am upfront with my intentions... i don't want a man, i don't want a cut buddy, i don't want a husband nor do i want or need a father for my son, he has one.... me. all i want is for us to 'kick it'. no not 'kick it' like darius and nina did in 'love jones' but kick it like it is suppose to be kicked. now,... this might be far fetched... but men can't stand a non needy woman.... a woman who by her independence from a romantic connection is in some form or another controlling or fooling herself that she doesn't need, want nor desire a man. well, surprise, sucker, surprise... i don't want you. the last time i had one of yall, i was left with a lifetime commitment. but....but... it gets more interesting and bizarre ... some of these fools actually think they can compete with my son.... like it is somehow probable, they can withstand and contend the adoration and love i have for my son...MY SON!!! and...and... they had the nerve to tell me this, now. *smh* The audacity, the brazenness, DA BALLS of these fools to think they even have a chance in hell they can kiss it.... i swear 'fore yall.

Dr. Martin's birthday is being observed on monday. i guess we are suppose to gear of for black history month... is it me or is bhm becoming almost .... how can i say this... almost routine. like we are programed to appreciate black history, civil right movement, martin l., malcolm x, harriet t., etc, you know... the five black figures in black history that are forced down our throats every year for a set period of 2/1 - 2/28....oh, can't forget that extra day we get every four years. roll out the mcdonald's bhm celebration commercials, break out the black liberation flags, crank up the 'i have a dream' speech. i hope this isn't what it has been reduced to. on this note, i hope all of those first time black voters make it a tradition, a behavior, a routine, a habit to vote every year... for you not to is to desecrate the graves of our ancestors.

2004 no more!!

I have to post this... sums up the year in 39 questions... thanks Pammy!!

001. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Had a child

002. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i can't even remember that far back and no, no more new year's resolutions... if i needs to be done, it will get done.

003. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes,.... ME!!!

004. Did anyone close to you die?
UMMM...thank God no...

005. What countries did you visit?
none,... but that is about to change

006. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
i have received what i think i was searching for... a REAL purpose... my shawty!

007. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 1st when i found out that i was expecting and Nov. 2nd when i finally gave birth...

008. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
this is getting monotonous.... my shawty

009. What was your biggest failure?
becoming complacent in a majority of the roles of my life...

010. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope... i have been blessed...

011. What was the best thing you bought?
well i bought the service of my friend to build me a new computer... damn good job if i might say so myself.

012. Whose behavior merited celebration?
all of the first-time voters who desperately tried to oust that antichrist...GWB...

013. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed disgusted?
there isn't enough room... but for those who know me, I don't have to complete the answer to this question

014. Where did most of your money go?
Shawty.... i spent more money on hospital bills for him in one year than i have on myself in my whole life... including when i was born.

015. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
i would say shawty but i would be lying,... i was more anxious than excited... i would say maternity leave..don't get me wrong, i appreciate having a job but UGGH!!... i really need a new job

016. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'YEAH!!'... as my mother says... 'Usher and his cute self'

017. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier
b) thinner... in some places... fatter in others
c) a helluva lot poorer financially but richer emotionally

018. What do you wish you'd done more of?
praying... and saving..

019. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worrying

020. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
at home watching dick clark...(regis philbin)

021. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes... with shawty... but i also fell in love with me over again... i sure do love me some me

022. How many one-night stands?
still riding that celibacy train for all its worth...Amen, pammy!!

023. What was your favorite TV program?
American Dreams

024. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone... my heart is incapable

025. What was the best book you read?
Lucky - Alice Sebold

026. What was your greatest musical discovery?
had none

027. What did you want and get?
a picture printer is what i still want and i got NOTHING!!!

028. What did you want and not get?
financial freedom...AMEN again, Pammy!

029. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Day After Tomorrow

030. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nothing at all... just sat back and thank God... i turned 28 years young

031.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
financial freedom

032. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
maternity wear... and it sucked!

033. What kept you sane?
Pregnancy... had it not, i would have sliced a few folks in '04

034. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
no one... not a big fan of anyone except for God...

035. What political issue stirred you the most?
how someone so short of common sense could be allowed to serve as president of such a powerful nation

036. Who did you miss?
everyone and noone... made me a better, more self reliant person

037. Who was the best new person you met?
my son... but it was like meeting me all over again except in boy form... he is his mother's child

038. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
God hears you...even when you aren't talking.

039. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
He fills me up, he gives me love, more love than i ever seen
He's all I've got, he's all i got in this world

.... God and my son!!!