Monday, June 13, 2005

love 101

Woke up in another funky ass mood. Grant decided he didn’t want to sleep through the night and not should i since he is the center of my life....he woke me up with his 'dadadadadada' a quarter til 4 am when my behind didn’t have to be up until 6 am and I didn’t go to bed until 1 am. It is hard. Sometimes I need a straight break but there is no break in motherhood. You just roll with every punch and hope that you don't loose you damn mind in the process

So, I’m single again. I feel sought of relieved for many reasons. He lived too far. I live in the Bronx, him in Brooklyn and any one who knows or live in new york city knows that right there is far. Also, I was feeling guilty for not spending as much time as I could with Grant but in a relationship I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in from jump....and that didn't make any damn sense then nor now. And finally, dude has unresolved issues that should have been dealt with when he was 18. I have one child to raise not two. We are still friends and he still tries to holla even though I tell him his efforts are in vain. I didn’t learn a damn thing from this one….well, just that trust is a virtue that not everyone deserves and should be dispersed sparingly. I also learned that I have a tolerance level that could have only been adorned by God himself. He is my alpha and omega.

Sidenote: why are celebrities’ feet tore the hell up?

You know what music I really enjoyed and I haven’t found a chum in company…. Big Band. Now, that might surprise a few of you because,… well I really don’t know why, but I have loved Big Band since I first heard it played when I was a teeny weensy. (Leap Frog is one of my all time favorites). There is no other genre of music that makes me feel all kinds of emotions; melancholy, exuberance, sloth etc. like Big Band. Just wanted to give you all an insight into my world… we aren’t monolithic as a the masses would like to believe.

Sidenote: I just bought a pair of shoes (no, not jimmy choos but some nine west’s) the other day and was wondering why they look so damn cheap (no, not because they are cheap) I finally figured out why I feel they look so cheap… they remind me of them plastic rubber jelly sandals we use to wear back in the day that made our feet sweat holy water. and here I thought I then came up.


At 1:32 PM, Blogger Dayrell said...

sorry you woke up in a funky mood the other day...*hugs* but i see that you are doing better.

*awww* motherhood? mmm? i think that's the thing that i don't look forward to when i have kids later in the future...is momemts like those.

plastic shoes huh? OH! do i remember plastic shoes. GOOD LAWD!!! LOL. and i don't wanna EVER go back. lol. =)

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Bullet Proof Diva said...

funky ass moods are an epidemic, all my girls are feeling burnt out! 2 of them are new mommies, so I can empathize with how you feel. Bless ya heart! Hang in there, hopefully you can get a break sometime this summer? Even if it is for a few hours, you deserve to have some time to regroup.

Hang in there! Maybe we should play the lotto, some heffa won 2 times in PA. That could have belonged to one of us dammit!

At 9:02 AM, Blogger muffin said...

girl kendall wears me out but she is friggin hilarious!!!! when i dropped her off at her daddy's house last night, i felt sad, cuz i didn't have my lil buddy by my side anymore. :( i rather have my clone with me, even if i get tired. i'm just getting old i guess. don't get me wrong, i appreciate a nice break for myself. lol

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Sheron said...

How can you come up in here and front like your ass is in a funky mood and cause laughter like THIS (<---*points at self*).

LMAO @ your shoes. You're wrong for not sharing that info w/ me earlier!

Did you swear your plastic shoes on your trek to Brooklyn? THAT shit alone would've caused me to break up with his ass!!! LMAO

At 6:40 PM, Blogger Furious said...

plastic shoes? *hmmm?* please say it aint so!

you have my smypathies, new mommy. it gets (somewhat) easier. although once they get older they replace all that crying with talking. nonstop talking. good lord.

and hey. i like big band too. it's great. you know what else i like? ULTRA LOUNGE! uh, it's the greatest.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Slow Metamorphosis said...

Im glad that I am not the only who thinks that boroughs are a world away sometimes...lol.
Plastic shoes....well I wore no shoes growing up...i hated them...walked barefoot, so I cant rem plastic shoes.

At 3:12 PM, Blogger obifromsouthlondon said...

I get kicked in the head on the regular by my baby boy (why cant he sleep in his cot??). always at 4a.m. gonna sell him if he dont stop. or get him a pair of plastic rubber jelly sandals.

good looking out ma.

At 5:50 AM, Blogger Zantiferous3 said...

Sidenote: why are celebrities’ feet tore the hell up?

ROFLMAO!!! Where on EARTH did that come from??? LOL


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