Petey Pablo and I need to get together to make more babies

I don’t think ppl really understand how little I know about baddy.. now don’t go calling me a slut or fast or harlot…well at least not to my face because I know some of yall will call me something either way. Shawty was a pure accident. Unplanned. I knew baddy for only a short period of time before the conception despite contraception used. Take heed… condoms aren’t always enough. Ya need to insulate,…. You know, double up or by golly triple up on the birth control. We knew the basics but there was no introductions of parents. I wasn’t really feeling him like that at the time. I just thought he was a good looking guy, decent citizens and he had his shit together… well, for the most part. That right there is why I’m glad he is the father, if for no other reason at all. shawty’s father is a stand-up kind of guy. Now, just this doesn’t make him the one for me… we are never going to walk down the aisle together, never live in the same house. We will take family pictures and have family meetings etc, but the buck stops there. There are set backs in this all. I have no real desire to get to know his family. None whatsoever. I don’t see the point, probably won’t ever see it either. And I doubt if they have any reason to even want to get to know me. I have met his immediate family because I thought that was pertinent. I’m pretty sure shawty will have to spend time at least with his Nana. Now baddy wants to have his cousin baby-sit. I’m like, I don’t know her. And even if I did, I don’t know her enough to trust her with my only child. Sorry dude. I know it will save money but not my peace of mind. He thinks I’m being rude and feel that my family is more suitable than his. Very f-ing possible. Why the f she don’t got no job? (that was the only way to ask that question) is she disable? No. does she have infants at home? No. is she between jobs? no. nah, dude. That is okay. I’m not having idle folks around shawty just for the sake of saving pennies, dude, it isn’t worth it. I would rather pay the 19 grand I was telling yall about before. Get on my nerves. Ugh, I’m so anti men right now.

I'm going to post some pictures soon... gross some of you all out. have some of you really twice thinking childbearing.

So, I have just finish reading ‘The Lovely Bones’ by Alice Seabold… great read. I’m now reading ‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’ by Mitch Albom. actually i just finished reading it and i was not as impressed as i thought i should be for $7. I don’t understand my new founded interest in the views of death. I don’t know if I realize now more than ever that I’m quite vincible, and, yes, my bowels can smell horrible… I’m still waiting for more things to be revealed to me, ya know, help me understand how I got here. Am I too old to self-reflect and, on some, level ask for pardon for my blatant mistakes? I feel like it is too late to want to clean house and maybe I should just move the hell out and let someone else deal with the mess left behind. Maybe I’m being pretentious. Nah, that can’t be it…I’m marvelous: I just have some issues that need some tending to.

so, here are the five things i plan to do in the five days after i give birth:

day 1: sleep on my belly
day 2: cut my toenails
day 3: join a gym
day 4: dye my hair
day 5: go shopping!!


Alright, let me go fella shopping. I need to find me a beautiful mathematician so we me can make some beautiful quantitative love... Ciao, belles