long time

I had a great three day weekend, you know, being that my days are now full of endless misery. I’m big, yall… just really BIG. I’m all baby as of now but still… I feel as if I’m carrying a cubed fridge in my midsection and I’m suffering.

My high school brothers had a bbq on Sunday. Now, this wasn’t your ordinary bbq. It was thrown together in a matter of three days…. They decided on Thursday that they should have something to tie up the end of summer. Now, I will admit, the confidence in my brothers to do this was damn near non-existent, but somehow they pulled it off. I mean I was thoroughly impressed…. The food, the music, the turnout, everything was well done… They are making it into an annual event and next year, so it was said, they will tie it in with my birthday (yeah, my birthday is tomorrow...:) It was about 15 of us from high school, guests and guests of guests. And then, you saw all of these little ones running around. I was like, well, got damn! Is this a damn nursery or what? I never realized how we have all grown up. Jobs, responsibilities, families… just pure craziness. I have known these ppl more than half of my life, when they had pimples and crack voices,… I even cussed a few of them out …. And now they are raising their own little ppl, planning and making ways out of no way. So by this time next year, at least two of us will have new additions to the Walton High School family, (bx, represent). And we all have become surrogate parents to each other kids and I don’t believe any of use would change that for the world.

Speaking of birthdays, I will be 28 tomorrow. Ten years ago, I was just entering college, naïve as all get out and still a ‘good girl’. Fast forward ten yrs from then, working (or some form of that) at the same firm for the pass six years, tad bit thicker, hell of a lot wiser and yes, with child. Ten years professes a lot… more than I would like to remember and a whole lot more than I would like to admit. I saw the ex again at the bbq…. Looking very handsome in his canary yellow polo shirt. Although he still makes my heart go pitter-patter and how I once thought him ‘the one’, I have come to the realization I was sorely mistaken. I never knew how my feelings for him would become so trivialized. If I had felt just a nudge of my shawty’s foot, head, ass, elbow, ear, whatever, in my belly, my attention was snatched back to baby and I would rub until I felt he was as at his most comfortable. This is when I really realize that I won’t be dating for a long ass time. I’m too all up under shawty, too concerned and involved to the extent that I wouldn’t allow myself to share my resources with anyone else…. My money, my time, my attention, my affection, my devotion… it isn’t something I’m willing to part with for anyone except for shawty. This shit might sound weird for folks without kids, but when you have your little one, you will understand in its totality.
Baddy is taking me out for my birthday. Go right on ahead. I was never the one to turn down food and a flick. I know my biological father is going to call me on the ninth instead of the eighth, like he has for the past ten-twelve years, and I will be piss paul mad, AGAIN. My mother will give me a card with 29 bucks in it, the money I just gave her for herself. My sister probably will call if she isn’t still mad. My nieces will make me cards from the cardboard of their shoeboxes (the most anticipated gift). This birthday is so much more special than the pervious ones…. So much joy I have been filled with and so much more to be thankful for. My little doggie, Texas, birthday is September 9th…us lovely ass Virgos… don’t hate. God, how freaking wonderful are we?!! No, seriously… how wonderful are we?!! (p~) He and I will share some birthday cake as well and I will also take him to get groomed. He deserves it. Yes, I’m one of those crazy dog ppl, too.