Here I am* doing that same ole two step *

So, I was walking to work this morning thinking about how I’m going to explain to Shawty about the many, many mistakes I have made. And just as I looked at my mother when I was a mere teenager discounting everything she said, I know I will get that same absent stare and look of oblivious when I try to school him on the going-ons of Earth. Oh well. I’m going to tell Shawty, listen… you are going to do some stupid things… that much I can almost guarantee,….but please don’t be foolish and don’t be anyone’s fool. Make mistakes and shi because that is where core lessons are learnt but please refrain from being anyone’s fool. I think about the times where in relationships I would tend to lose my damn mind. Pining over no good niccas like they were worth each and every tear shed. Fuck that! I think about some of the more recent ones (all of those prior to me turning 21 doesn’t count…. I was suppose to be empty-headed) and I chuckle. Like one of them, (why did I even stay that long will forever be beyond me) crazy possessive ‘manipulative bastard’…. I think he would have tried to kill me. Another, stalker loon…’crazy as a fox’. Homeboy showed up at my door and waited for me for two hours….UNINVITED. Now… I should have known better with the following… one of them ‘issues having’ male Taurus. Have more issues that one can ever imagine. Didn’t have a job and damn it if he wasn’t near in a rush to get one either. And, ‘a whore on a hunt’… supposedly looking for love… he’s gonna mess around and find his penis missing. I’m surprised that crap hasn’t fell off already. Maybe it has and that is why homeboy can’t keep a girl. Lmao. And the ‘Jewish boy’, another issue having Taurus… and on top of that, homeboy had a strange body odor that just crept up and held your breathing process hostage. Now, ‘halitosis man’…good gawd…. Now that is an odor I will never forget. Nice as all get out but homeboy and his breath, lawd…. I never experience funktafied to that degree inmelife! Don’t get it twisted; I can admit some wrong shi I have done. With ‘manipulative bastard’ and ‘a whore on a hunt’ I did some dirt but damn if they and their actions didn’t warrant it. And if given the opportunity to do it all over again, these are the same two mfs I wouldn’t have glanced at once never mind twice. Lol. Like André 3000 said, ‘I’m just being honest’. Now there are two that I have met subsequent to my 21st birthday who are far removed from me saying anything but good things. If I cannot say anything nice or pleasant, it would be said about them for noted reasons. ‘My first love’ and ‘baddy’. My first love (and I know Sheron is tired of hearing about him) was the bomb.,.. period, end of story. Love him still, more than my momma’s cook food…. Even now being pregnant and all. I don’t know if I would or could love that hard, that deep, that strong, romantically, ever again. If I don’t, it would be a shame but I will still be at peace because I was able to experience a love I had no idea existed. Baddy is the father of Shawty. There is no one that can match the amount of love of have for him for giving me Shawty. I will always care deeply for him and he will always be a priority in my life because of Shawty…. There is no one person that will ever change that. Not even if I get married to someone else. Prior to me and dude tying the knot, this is something that has to be understood. If it cannot be understood, then we cannot be together. Shawty’s well being trumps all that of other’s.