sentiments

so... im 20 wks and half way there... well wait a minute... is there really a half where when you are given a life long responsibility.... i think i would prefer staying pregnant for the rest of my life than having the burdening thought of shaping and molding a black child in today's society. but God wanted a challenge for me and damn if i got it. now i love kids... other ppl's kids. i'm scared shiless wondering anticipating the personality of this here wonder child... i want it to be a certain type of person with the passion for this that and the third. living vicariously through it... i think all parents do... you know why, cause we all did and did not do something and that is why we are still longing to correct the mistakes made.... through our children. does that make us parents losers? if that is the case, shi i will be a loser.... you are damn right i don't like working 9 to 5 today just to work 9 to 5 tomorrow. i want my baby to wizen up to this billshi system and make momma some money. get ours in this capitalist system :|) damn that... my big ass belly is my 401k plan. holla!! jokes folks, jokes. I don't need anyone cussing my name... after all i'm rubber and you're glue and i don't care what you have to say any damn way... but i still love you.

So i'm listening to my musiq soulstar cd and there has always been this track that i was digging since day one.. track number 10, Thereason. now, for the record, i'm not sappy, but i'm in love with shawty,... shawty is my first love... i never knew i was capable of loving any one thing, person or place as deeply, as intensely, as strongly, as unconditionally as i do shawty... I love this baby more than i love ten of me... but back to the story, here is a snippet of the lyrical content in 'thereason'...


Artist : Musiq Soulchild

Title : Thereason

Album : Soulstar

Genre : R&B


[Chorus]
All I am and all that I will ever be
Is because of you and I am proud to say
That you helped make me into what I am today
I applaud you for being so patient with me
All I am and all that I will ever be
Is because of you and I am proud to say
No one else could do what you have done for me
You mean the worked to me (yeah)


There were times when I was so
Frustrated with you
I felt I didn't want you no more
But then I realized
That without you I would be so alone (yeah)
Whatever right or wrong and im so glad I did cause

See you cause a changed in my life
You turned an empty heart into work of art
And open my eyes to the world
I would have never known, for that im grateful
You are my pride and my joy
The closest thing to me next to God above
and will for-ever be my first love
And im always gonna give my all to you


now if that ain't some gut wrenching, bawl your eyes ducts out, spit on your neck type feelin', i don't know what is... and i wouldn't give it up for the world.